Parenting during the Holidays

So we left a week earlier than normal for December holidays in Port Shepstone due to a funeral we had to attend. I was never ready for what was about to happen 🤦🏾‍♀️my Thando who is now 2 years old could not speak last time we took a trip down to the South Coast. This time around she was very vocal, she started off telling us how sore her bum bum was from traveling then she made us take extra stops for the toilet because she needs to pee in the toilet even when I had given her permission to pee on her nappy (I know I was wrong for taking her back sue me lol).

I am not sure how mothers cope during the festive season but I know we still want to rest? bond with our husbands and create beautiful memories with family and friends. It looks easy but is a lot of work. When we are in Pretoria we rely a lot on my parents and they bring the much needed relieve.

My sister in love is heavily pregnant and she is at her moms in Mthatha so her 5year old is with us in Sheppy, to spice things up there is another 5year old neighbor’s kid who usually leaves after dinner and comes after breakfast so I am a mother of 4 kids under the age of 6 😭(cry with me)

The girls are sensitive and never forget what you say or do to them (we learn grudges from a young age). You have to intentionally remind them to be kind to one another. Boys are sweet very forgiving but very naughty I’m starting to think they are forgiving because they know they will need you to return the favor soon.

Don’t get me wrong I love love babies I enjoy the funny things they say, the cuteness, the sincere beautiful hearts and heart warming giggles. They are blessings. However, after these holidays I don’t think I will be bringing up the 3rd child subject again.

You know it’s bad when you look forward to Thando’s nap time because at least then I can respond to messages and try to read something. I am always planning the next meal and snack 🙆🏽‍♀️. I  love baking and feeding people so I find myself standing most of the time, but  that is not the most exhausting part of my day, the intentional parenting is.

Every time someone comes to tell on someone we have to use that as an opportunity to teach and affirm. And then there is the tantrums from madam Thando…what we have learnt is that the emotional needs are the most difficult job parents have to do more than  providing for the physical needs.

So when you do your family planning both partners must assess their emotional state because unstable parents cannot produce secure, confident and happy children. We need to budget for therapy, self care days, emotional health books etc. so that we are not always ready to bite our kids heads off every time they mess up because we are not forgiving of ourselves. Fill your emotional tank,  parenting will stretch you.

I miss my helper very much. The only good thing I am grateful for during this time is having lots of sisters and brothers. Having a hands on husband makes everything so much easier. I think I would be an alcoholic if he wasn’t lol. He is simply the best. On a serious note though you will need all hands on deck to survive the holidays if your partner is not the type to go feed the kids then get some help , this can easily put you off and cause tension between you. We do the most parenting in one month than we do in the whole year because we are with our kids 24hours and it does not feel like it’s a holiday. Look at it this way it is an opportunity to see how patient our kids are, how mean they can be and gives us a chance to correct all the nasty habits they have picked up at school. Yes you are present the whole year but you don’t get to see them interact with adults and kids. You are mot sure how they handle themselves under pressure and how they handle conflict.

One last story during bath time I was de-tangling Thando’s hair and she mentioned that she does not love me anymore when it was time to dress up she said papa must do it because i hurt her, I am still trying to get back on her good books. My two year old knows how to punish me, they grow too fast and you need to keep up with every stage be present and wake up everyday looking forward to loving them.

NB:I have been writing this post for a week #PARENTING101-

Enjoy the wet kisses

Remember they learn more from your actions not your words

Don’t take yourself too serious-laugh

Have some gin or champagne

Love them hard -wake up and do it again

with love

 

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Tumi Tjale

Oh what a hard job it is to be a parent for 24 hours in a day and have no nanny to help you with the little ones ! I experienced exactly the same thing during these holidays and though I’ve always appreciated my helper, it made me appreciate her even more. And indeed, it does help to have a hands-on partner. I wouldn’t have survived if he was not the type of father he is. Big ups to our helpers ! The nannies and the fathers who understand that the kids are also theirs and that it’s okay to… Read more »