Growing with your marriage

Oh how I love spring beautiful flowers, rain, sunshine and warmth everything about this season is wonderful. It is a physical reminder of the seasons in our lives that come and go, winter seemed like it was going to last forever especially when you have a toddler who catches a cold every now and again. But guess what? it didn’t last forever and spring is here and it will also not last forever. It has to make way for summer. The trick is not to get too attached to the season as it is just passing by, we must learn from it and prepare ourselves for the next season in our lives. One of my old time favourite artists is Lauryn Hill and one of her songs come to mind;

“Everything is everything
What is meant to be, will be
After winter, must come spring
Change, it comes eventually”

On the 21st of September 2017 , we are celebrating our fourth year anniversary and in the same month we welcome the latest addition to our family our baby girl Thandolwethu Cele. In the first year of our marriage, I didn’t think in four years we would be parents to two human beings (yes maybe a pet or two but not two people). This has been an adventure from the moment I met Sweet-One we were the most unlikely couple to get married because of our different religious backgrounds, only God knew he would be the father of my babies and the King to my heart (lord Charles).

In our first year of marriage we received lots of advice, we also had some people tell us to enjoy the honeymoon while it lasted as if it was downhill from then on. But the one advice I didn’t understand then which I have grown to understand now was by Phumzile Letsosa (yes Phumi I do listen when you speak) she said grow with your marriage at the time I was thinking uPhumi wants us to be boring in the next few years or something.

Four years later this is what I think she meant, like with everything in life marriage goes through different seasons and each season has a purpose. When it was just the two of us I understood love to be butterflies in my stomach, buying me ice cream at whatever crazy hour I asked, taking out my braids, going out every other night and the excitement of planning the next getaway. Matured love on the other hand is; pregnancy back rubs, taking turns staying up when the baby is sick, paying the mortgage, changing nappies kinda love. It doesn’t mean you don’t buy ice cream or plan getaways anymore. It means your love has evolved into something more meaningful you don’t just spend money and time anymore you invest it in your family. In fact , romantic getaways and dressing up to go out just the two of you is an investment you need to make so you can continue being great lovers and good parents. When we first got married I didn’t understand the concept of date night, I mean we go out for breakfast, and the next day its dinner, why do you need to plan it? Now I can safely say couples must make date night a priority.

If you do not make time to bond with one another you can lose your wife to motherhood and your husband to fatherhood.

When you express your love for each other you produce human beings as a product of your love and affection, and that is a beautiful gift. Children are a gift from God and a blessing, but they are also romance killers. If you do not make time to bond with one another you can lose your wife to motherhood and your husband to fatherhood. Being parents brings another dimension to your marriage, it tests your tolerance and patience but it also brings a joy and love for your family that you can never get from anything else.

I am not the woman I was when we met and I am not the woman I was when we got married, and he is not who he was either. We are more patient, wiser, more considerate and we are a few kilograms heavier than we were 😆 . I am a much bolder person than I was, thanks to my brave Sweet-One. He has encouraged me to do things I never thought I would ever do. Becoming parents made us to realise human beings can function on four hours of sleep  😉 but it  has also made us realise how much love we have to give.

As we celebrate our 4 years of marriage I look forward to the next level of growth and learning together, I will write about having a family of four soon. I am sure it is going to be an adventure. The reason this remains the best advice is because she didn’t tell me how I should be a perfect wife or how things will be hard as soon the honeymoon was over. What she did was prepare me for the different seasons while keeping a positive outlook. Growth is defined as an act or process of gradual increase. Growth means increase in value. Whatever season your marriage is in, one thing is for sure it can only grow from it. Be sure to grow with it.

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Rose Mashaba
8th Mar 2018 15:33

I love your writing Sis Pru, keep it up. Its very inspiring.

Rose Mashaba
8th Mar 2018 15:32

I love your writing sis Pru. keep it up

Tumi Tjale
1st Mar 2018 13:20

Nice one Pru ! And congratulations yet again to the addition into your beautiful family. God bless you !

7th Feb 2018 11:00

Siyabonga Ma-Cele ‘Ndosi’ makwande 🙂

7th Feb 2018 10:20

Thanx for sharing,this gives a different meaning to marriage and having kids. the love is still there but differently. wel done girl. keep them coming we are learning.

Nonhlanhla Shongwe
29th Jan 2018 18:32

What a month full. Grow with your marriage and keep a positive attitude

26th Jan 2018 18:53

Thank you Pru for sharing. You know you don’t get to read these beautiful marriage stories . Married people choose to keep it with themselves. Mostly because they avoid judgement etc. Unfortunately single people only get to hear just the “few black spot in a big white paper” which is such a shame. Good advise you got there”Keep Growing guys”xoxo

Tumi Tjale
1st Mar 2018 13:19
Reply to  Mpume

Very true indeed !

26th Jan 2018 11:17

Hey sisi. Thank you for sharing your life with us. Really changed my thinking of marriage.

23rd Jan 2018 13:01

Embracing every change😍

7th Feb 2018 09:32
Reply to  Prudence Cele

Join the discussion

7th Feb 2018 09:35
Reply to  Viwe

I love this Pru. The growing together in different phases is very true and profound!! It was once said by Mr Ranaka (Dineo’s father) that you dont have to be the same person who were when you met your partner, but marriage is about growth TOGETHER and embracing that growth!