Guys weaning a baby of breast milk is hard  😥 I breastfed our firstborn for about 17 months, the plan was to stop at 2 years, but he started wanting the boob and nothing else so had to stop. It was hard, but I think it was better than how I ended things with Thando our second born  😥  😥 .  Sipho was already used to feeding only at night so supply had gone down so we skipped the painful engorgement. It took about three to five days to introduce a substitute.  My sweet boy genuinely sympathized with me pain, I told him I had an ‘eina’ meaning it was sore, I even put on plaster on it (I know I’m dramatic) and it worked. Took him to my mom’s that was the last time we spoke about ncanca thats what we call it at my house.

Both my babies had a serious attachment to the ncanca it was their pacifier, I delayed introducing solids so for the longest time it was the only source of nutrition. Naturally, having to part ways with it was going to be hard. But Thando was definitely the hardest to wean, so I decided December I’m not breastfeeding in 2019. I wanted to take my body back from the children. What do I mean? let me put it this way, if someone wakes up at 3:00 am to feed everyday and does so a couple m,ore times when they are teething, going through some growing pains and when they see you walk through the door they see ncanca. When everyone tries out a new tea you ask if it is safe for breastfeeding moms, when you want to have a glass of wine you have to calculate the number of hours before you see the kid. You do not own your body. 🙄

The mistake I made with Thandolwethu is that when I was on December holidays I fed on demand and that meant  demand increased again. I stopped expressing for her when she was 10 months, so that meant she no longer had breast-milk during the day and we were both okay feeding at night. When supply went up in December I also got tired of waking up at night I felt I deserved a full night’s sleep finally. 😥

So I tried to introduce a substitute and she just said “No”. I took her to my mom’s for a week. After one week she came back wanted to feed like nothing happened, I showed her the plaster and explained that it was sore, she was not as understanding brother Phopho. She cried the first two nights back were horrible, I almost gave in.  But thank God I got a new helper around the same time so she put her to sleep which was awesome. The challenge was because supply had increased the milk did not dry up in one week like it did with the first one. She could still smell it and it made her angry that I was choosing not to give her.

So apart from the drama I went through with her I was dealing with my own issues.

First stage:  deciding to stop

It was hard I felt like she deserved to breastfeed until 18 months at least and I started thinking I’m selfish for stopping so early and then convicting myself I did well and I can finally lose all the weight and drink  drink green tea if I wanted to.

Second stage : the mourning

I literally woke up the same time to feed her even when she was not there and I was sad that we will not be bonding anymore, woke up feeling miserable.

Third stage  : the physical pain

I had to make a conscious decision to stop expressing for relief and just deal with the discomfort, I took ibuprofen for pain,the pharmacist said I had to get a prescription to get the pill to dry them up quickly. I decided to stick it out, it was painful  😥 and when the kids wanted to lie on my chest I wanted to die.

Fourth stage acceptance

I  have accepted that this is it and I’m going to have my once hot body back 😉  and stop wearing feeding bras I mean I also deserve lace bras lol.

let me know how you got through the stages, was it easy?