“Lets talk about sex baby….” Being the only girl, and raised by christian parents, saying my relationship with sex is complicated would be an understatement. Everything I learnt about the subject was from friends, television, books, and of course my friend google. I remember when I was 13 and I had my first period, the first things my mom said to me is that I must stay away from boys basically if I don’t stay away from them, I will have a baby. You can imagine how scared I was, so instead of embracing puberty I was traumatised by it, if anything it was a<a class="more-link" href="http://www.msdzo.co.za/2019/04/black-womens-relationship-with-sex/">Read More →</a>
Guys weaning a baby of breast milk is hard 😥 I breastfed our firstborn for about 17 months, the plan was to stop at 2 years, but he started wanting the boob and nothing else so had to stop. It was hard, but I think it was better than how I ended things with Thando our second born 😥 😥 . Sipho was already used to feeding only at night so supply had gone down so we skipped the painful engorgement. It took about three to five days to introduce a substitute. My sweet boy genuinely sympathized with me pain, I told him I had<a class="more-link" href="http://www.msdzo.co.za/2019/03/weaning-stages/">Read More →</a>
February is the one month where romance is the number one topic whether you are a romantic or not, it is in your face and we are forced to have a position about it. Some go to an extent of giving us the history of Valentino and others feel the need to explain why they do not celebrate. So one of the ladies from mzansi wives as the name suggests the group is for married ladies, asked my thoughts on the romance topic and so I thought I should share with you. The first think that came to mind was who set the standard for<a class="more-link" href="http://www.msdzo.co.za/2019/03/to-romance-or-not-to-romance/">Read More →</a>
It turns out the more progress you make in your fast the more the enemy tries to distract you from focusing on God. This does not just happen when you fast but after every mountain top, there will be a valley. When this happened to Jesus he responded with the word. For most of us our first reaction is to feel defeated 😥 You start thinking of quitting I mean , you can’t be fasting and praying while things seem to be getting worse right? but that is the time to pray even more simply because it is hard. It is not going to be easy,<a class="more-link" href="http://www.msdzo.co.za/2019/01/dont-stop-now/">Read More →</a>
New year’s eve I took Thandolwethu to my mother’s place because Sweet-One and I desperately needed to Dezemba even if it’s just for one night ( for those who don’t know what to Dezemba means , it is alot of things to different people but for the purpose of this post it means have reckless fun like we don’t have responsibilities 😆 ). On our way there she was napping and I realized how quiet it was because Phopho was not in the car. Then I said to Sweet-One I can’t believe we ever complained about exhaustion when we had one child 🤷🏽♀️and we laughed about it. Now<a class="more-link" href="http://www.msdzo.co.za/2019/01/reflections/">Read More →</a>
I recently went to a baby shower for one of the ladies who welcomed me at my husband’s church five years ago and my spiritual home now. She was not a mother nor a wife at the time but she did not see that as a barrier for us 😀 I remember thinking one day when I get an opportunity to shower her, I pray God gives me the strength to do so. And I was not the only one who felt that way, her shower was beautiful and a lot of people came to celebrate her. I was asked to say something about motherhood from<a class="more-link" href="http://www.msdzo.co.za/2018/12/dear-mom-to-be/">Read More →</a>
“I keep fighting voices in my mind that say I’m not enough Every single lie that tells me I will never measure up Am I more than just the sum of every high and every low? Remind me once again just who I am, because I need to know (ooh oh) You say I am loved when I can’t feel a thing You say I am strong when I think I am weak You say I am held when I am falling short When I don’t belong, oh You say that I am Yours And I believe (I), oh I believe (I) What You say<a class="more-link" href="http://www.msdzo.co.za/2018/10/brown-skin/">Read More →</a>
So I finally understand the verse that says “So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today”. Matthew 6 verse 34. Last Thursday my boy had a dry cough and didn’t sleep well which means I didn’t sleep well. Allowed Adjustment budgets stress get to me and had a disagreement with a colleague . Now Back to Phopho I nebulized (not sure if this is still english 😛 ) him gave him telfast and we slept okay the following night. Saturday went to a baby shower in the rain then Thando came back with a bad cough, nothing<a class="more-link" href="http://www.msdzo.co.za/2018/10/one-day-at-a-time/">Read More →</a>
I recently went on a spa treatment with two of my friends and mom guilt came up. For those who are not familiar with the concept urban dictionary describes it as the guilt a mother feels anytime she takes time to do something for herself, outside of work, that does not involve her children. It is real. It exists, and my friends and I were talking about how it affects us making time for ourselves. The truth is there will always be things to buy for the house, and do for the family. As women it is in our nature to give and prioritise the<a class="more-link" href="http://www.msdzo.co.za/2018/09/pouring-from-an-empty-cup/">Read More →</a>
The other day a friend was sharing how in winter he switches on the engine and lets it run for a few minutes before driving, he mentioned that it is important for the oil to be warmed up so the car functions optimally. I immediately, I remembered that both my husband and my dad do the same but I never bothered to ask why. My friend mentioned that he uses that time to pray before he goes to work, like a light bulb switching on I saw that as him starting his spiritual engine and warming up for the day to ensure he functions optimally.<a class="more-link" href="http://www.msdzo.co.za/2018/08/getting-back-in-rhythm/">Read More →</a>
So, a day after date night I posted a video of myself singing “ngikuthandile by Vusi Nova” yes I can hold a note 😉 dedicated to the Sweet-One of course. I received feedback from friends who were surprised that married people sing to one another. In my ideal world couples freely express their love for one another without any fear, because “perfect love casts out all fear” 1 John 4:18. I decided to write this post because we all need to be reminded about why its important to date your spouse. Hopefully when you done reading this you will write a letter,sing a song or plan<a class="more-link" href="http://www.msdzo.co.za/2018/07/dating-your-spouse/">Read More →</a>
So my boss came to work with an audio cd that he thought I would like, still not sure if he is trying to say something to me about my work 🤔 anyway….the cd is about gifts based on the talents parable in the book of Matthew 25:14. And he was right, I loved it, I listened to it over and over. When I was trying to prepare a message to talk to Young Adults Ministry about finances, I subscribed to a christian website and upon subscribing I received a 23 paged booklet which I started reading immediately. Guess what the book was about? Yep Matthew 25<a class="more-link" href="http://www.msdzo.co.za/2018/06/how-many-do-you-have/">Read More →</a>
As May draws to an end, I would like to reflect on motherhood and how it has changed me. I am a mother, I have a mother and she also has a mother, point is there is no human being without a mother. Whether or not you have a good relationship with her is a topic for another day. Since I became a mother I have been amazed at the depth of love I have for my munchkins and children in general. So my friend Dorcas says I was motherly even before I was a mother I am not quite sure what that means but I<a class="more-link" href="http://www.msdzo.co.za/2018/05/there-aint-no-hood-like-the-motherhood/">Read More →</a>
So, I wanted to post this on workers’ day but I couldn’t the kids kept me busy, and I was praying that my current nanny comes back from the long weekend so I can reassure myself that I am not a horrible employer.Okay, let me start at the beginning so you understand why I was starting to think I am horrible employer. Our mothers took care of us with the help of family (grandmother/aunts/sisters)or no help at all. So we look back and wonder how they did it. There are advantages and disadvantages to that. The advantage is that you know the people taking care<a class="more-link" href="http://www.msdzo.co.za/2018/05/the-nanny-struggle-is-real/">Read More →</a>
When I was pregnant with our first child I was surprised just how quick the conversation shifted from me to my belly, in fact most people just jumped to wow your belly is so big or you are a shade darker. I made peace with it and told myself people are just excited and they were expressing this, by giving me advice; from what I should wear, eat and even when I should sleep. I didn’t think it could get worse, then I had the baby 🙆🏾. Being a first time mom you already have enough doubts and you take whatever advice you get, until<a class="more-link" href="http://www.msdzo.co.za/2018/04/unsolicited-advise/">Read More →</a>
I saw a quote which I liked on social media which said “Don’t pray when you feel like it. Make an appointment with the King and keep it” Corrie ten Boom Everything within me agreed with this quote because if I simply waited to pray when I felt like it, that could mean once a week, once a month and eventually never. A prayerful life does not happen by accident it is something one must practice every opportunity they get. Until it becomes a part of who we are. We must pray until we don’t do anything without committing it to God ,not only should we<a class="more-link" href="http://www.msdzo.co.za/2018/03/when-do-you-pray/">Read More →</a>
On 22 August 2017 , the former statistician-general Pali Lehohla released the latest report of Poverty Trends in South Africa. This depressing report got me thinking about how our environment can lead to a never ending cycle of poverty. The report reveals that the victims of poverty in South Africa are children aged 17 years and younger, black Africans, females, those with little or no education and people in rural areas. And the most affected provinces are the Eastern Cape and Limpopo. While poverty is highest amongst children (aged 0–17), poverty levels tend to drop as they reach productive/working age and only starts to increase<a class="more-link" href="http://www.msdzo.co.za/2018/02/are-we-a-product-of-of-our-environment-or-our-choices/">Read More →</a>
When it’s family, you forgive them for they know not what they do When it’s family, you accept them, ’cause you have no choice but to When it’s family, they’re a mirror of the worst and best in you And they always put you to the test And you always try to do your best And just pray for God to do the rest, when it’s family Some are preachers, some are gay Some are addicts, drunks and strays But not a one is turned away, when it’s family Some are lucky, others ain’t Some are fighters, others faint Winners, losers, sinners, saints, it’s all<a class="more-link" href="http://www.msdzo.co.za/2018/02/family/">Read More →</a>
When a child is born the family rejoices and they anticipate the wonderful things they will do in this world. We know God saw a challenge on earth and he decided to send that specific person to bring a solution. When we start seeing their personalities we appreciate that they are not like their siblings and we celebrate it. Somewhere between creche and high school the panel beating takes place. When a child expresses themselves through drawings instead of singing then we scold them for that decision. When you raise your hand in class, they say you think you are better than everyone. It is<a class="more-link" href="http://www.msdzo.co.za/2018/02/are-you-who-they-say-you-are/">Read More →</a>
I read an article about the lion mama’s concern for her daughter , “she is not the person I know her to be” that is the title of the article. I could not help but get emotional at the thought of the pain she must be going through because her daughter is in pain. What concerned me the most was the fact that the mother was not the person she was before the incident either. We call her lion mama, but she woke up on that day without any intention of becoming a murderer. She was a simple mother, probably going about her business trying<a class="more-link" href="http://www.msdzo.co.za/2017/10/the-criminal-they-made/">Read More →</a>
Oh how I love spring beautiful flowers, rain, sunshine and warmth everything about this season is wonderful. It is a physical reminder of the seasons in our lives that come and go, winter seemed like it was going to last forever especially when you have a toddler who catches a cold every now and again. But guess what? it didn’t last forever and spring is here and it will also not last forever. It has to make way for summer. The trick is not to get too attached to the season as it is just passing by, we must learn from it and prepare ourselves<a class="more-link" href="http://www.msdzo.co.za/2017/09/four-years-later/">Read More →</a>
On the days leading to the end of my pregnancy, like most women I was anxious about the safe delivery of our daughter into this world; in the perfect health, and the birth that I have been praying for. I started thinking about a failed attempt at seeing our baby girl through a 4D scan the previous Saturday, she only gave us a glimpse of her eye and nose but quickly brought her hands to her face almost as if she knew someone was trying to look at her. We did this for 30 minutes and still no luck. Sweet-One concluded she did not want<a class="more-link" href="http://www.msdzo.co.za/2017/08/why-do-you-believe/">Read More →</a>
To my baby The one thing we pray for, is that we do not give you a childhood you will need to recover from when you older. In the past 2 years, I have learnt that every parent loves their child regardless of how they choose to treat them or show that love. As a parent my first point of reference is your gogo (grandma) and mkhulu (grandad) and like it or not my parenting style is influenced by what I have seen them do. Although your grandparents meant well, I will not apply everything I saw them do and I’m sure they said the<a class="more-link" href="http://www.msdzo.co.za/2017/08/our-first/">Read More →</a>
Today I’m tackling the contentious subject of submission. Most ladies cringe when the topic of submission comes up, mainly because the 21st century woman believes submission made sense in the 1600s. Back then, the man was the only one bringing the bacon home and therefore, he made all the decisions and she simply followed. The question is, can the modern wife submit to her husband even if she is able top pay the mortgage herself? My answer is a definite YES. Submission is not something you do because…It is something we do because God commands us to. This topic came up when I told my<a class="more-link" href="http://www.msdzo.co.za/2017/03/submission/">Read More →</a>
Dear daughter I love your soft curly hair, soft skin, the precious smile especially when you are asleep. I even love the way you smell. Bala izibusiso zakho zonke ungasoli qha(count your all your blessings and don’t complain ) Every morning I look into your eyes, I am reminded of God’s faithfulness and unfailing love for us. Newborns are precious, sweet and vulnerable they are proof that God trusts human beings. Being trusted with a fragile baby to nurture and love is a privilege that we are eternally grateful for. We have been going through some challenges as a family and your arrival has given<a class="more-link" href="http://www.msdzo.co.za/2017/02/new-member-2/">Read More →</a>
“Lets talk about sex baby….” Being the only girl, and raised by christian parents, saying my relationship with sex is complicated would be an understatement. Everything I learnt about the subject was from friends, television, books, and of course my friend google. I remember when I was 13 and I had my first period, the first things my mom said to me is that I must stay away from boys basically if I don’t stay away from them, I will have a baby. You can imagine how scared I was, so instead of embracing puberty I was traumatised by it, if anything it was a<a class="more-link" href="http://www.msdzo.co.za/2019/04/black-womens-relationship-with-sex/">Read More →</a>
Guys weaning a baby of breast milk is hard 😥 I breastfed our firstborn for about 17 months, the plan was to stop at 2 years, but he started wanting the boob and nothing else so had to stop. It was hard, but I think it was better than how I ended things with Thando our second born 😥 😥 . Sipho was already used to feeding only at night so supply had gone down so we skipped the painful engorgement. It took about three to five days to introduce a substitute. My sweet boy genuinely sympathized with me pain, I told him I had<a class="more-link" href="http://www.msdzo.co.za/2019/03/weaning-stages/">Read More →</a>
February is the one month where romance is the number one topic whether you are a romantic or not, it is in your face and we are forced to have a position about it. Some go to an extent of giving us the history of Valentino and others feel the need to explain why they do not celebrate. So one of the ladies from mzansi wives as the name suggests the group is for married ladies, asked my thoughts on the romance topic and so I thought I should share with you. The first think that came to mind was who set the standard for<a class="more-link" href="http://www.msdzo.co.za/2019/03/to-romance-or-not-to-romance/">Read More →</a>
It turns out the more progress you make in your fast the more the enemy tries to distract you from focusing on God. This does not just happen when you fast but after every mountain top, there will be a valley. When this happened to Jesus he responded with the word. For most of us our first reaction is to feel defeated 😥 You start thinking of quitting I mean , you can’t be fasting and praying while things seem to be getting worse right? but that is the time to pray even more simply because it is hard. It is not going to be easy,<a class="more-link" href="http://www.msdzo.co.za/2019/01/dont-stop-now/">Read More →</a>
New year’s eve I took Thandolwethu to my mother’s place because Sweet-One and I desperately needed to Dezemba even if it’s just for one night ( for those who don’t know what to Dezemba means , it is alot of things to different people but for the purpose of this post it means have reckless fun like we don’t have responsibilities 😆 ). On our way there she was napping and I realized how quiet it was because Phopho was not in the car. Then I said to Sweet-One I can’t believe we ever complained about exhaustion when we had one child 🤷🏽♀️and we laughed about it. Now<a class="more-link" href="http://www.msdzo.co.za/2019/01/reflections/">Read More →</a>
I recently went to a baby shower for one of the ladies who welcomed me at my husband’s church five years ago and my spiritual home now. She was not a mother nor a wife at the time but she did not see that as a barrier for us 😀 I remember thinking one day when I get an opportunity to shower her, I pray God gives me the strength to do so. And I was not the only one who felt that way, her shower was beautiful and a lot of people came to celebrate her. I was asked to say something about motherhood from<a class="more-link" href="http://www.msdzo.co.za/2018/12/dear-mom-to-be/">Read More →</a>
“I keep fighting voices in my mind that say I’m not enough Every single lie that tells me I will never measure up Am I more than just the sum of every high and every low? Remind me once again just who I am, because I need to know (ooh oh) You say I am loved when I can’t feel a thing You say I am strong when I think I am weak You say I am held when I am falling short When I don’t belong, oh You say that I am Yours And I believe (I), oh I believe (I) What You say<a class="more-link" href="http://www.msdzo.co.za/2018/10/brown-skin/">Read More →</a>
So I finally understand the verse that says “So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today”. Matthew 6 verse 34. Last Thursday my boy had a dry cough and didn’t sleep well which means I didn’t sleep well. Allowed Adjustment budgets stress get to me and had a disagreement with a colleague . Now Back to Phopho I nebulized (not sure if this is still english 😛 ) him gave him telfast and we slept okay the following night. Saturday went to a baby shower in the rain then Thando came back with a bad cough, nothing<a class="more-link" href="http://www.msdzo.co.za/2018/10/one-day-at-a-time/">Read More →</a>
I recently went on a spa treatment with two of my friends and mom guilt came up. For those who are not familiar with the concept urban dictionary describes it as the guilt a mother feels anytime she takes time to do something for herself, outside of work, that does not involve her children. It is real. It exists, and my friends and I were talking about how it affects us making time for ourselves. The truth is there will always be things to buy for the house, and do for the family. As women it is in our nature to give and prioritise the<a class="more-link" href="http://www.msdzo.co.za/2018/09/pouring-from-an-empty-cup/">Read More →</a>
The other day a friend was sharing how in winter he switches on the engine and lets it run for a few minutes before driving, he mentioned that it is important for the oil to be warmed up so the car functions optimally. I immediately, I remembered that both my husband and my dad do the same but I never bothered to ask why. My friend mentioned that he uses that time to pray before he goes to work, like a light bulb switching on I saw that as him starting his spiritual engine and warming up for the day to ensure he functions optimally.<a class="more-link" href="http://www.msdzo.co.za/2018/08/getting-back-in-rhythm/">Read More →</a>
So, a day after date night I posted a video of myself singing “ngikuthandile by Vusi Nova” yes I can hold a note 😉 dedicated to the Sweet-One of course. I received feedback from friends who were surprised that married people sing to one another. In my ideal world couples freely express their love for one another without any fear, because “perfect love casts out all fear” 1 John 4:18. I decided to write this post because we all need to be reminded about why its important to date your spouse. Hopefully when you done reading this you will write a letter,sing a song or plan<a class="more-link" href="http://www.msdzo.co.za/2018/07/dating-your-spouse/">Read More →</a>
So my boss came to work with an audio cd that he thought I would like, still not sure if he is trying to say something to me about my work 🤔 anyway….the cd is about gifts based on the talents parable in the book of Matthew 25:14. And he was right, I loved it, I listened to it over and over. When I was trying to prepare a message to talk to Young Adults Ministry about finances, I subscribed to a christian website and upon subscribing I received a 23 paged booklet which I started reading immediately. Guess what the book was about? Yep Matthew 25<a class="more-link" href="http://www.msdzo.co.za/2018/06/how-many-do-you-have/">Read More →</a>
As May draws to an end, I would like to reflect on motherhood and how it has changed me. I am a mother, I have a mother and she also has a mother, point is there is no human being without a mother. Whether or not you have a good relationship with her is a topic for another day. Since I became a mother I have been amazed at the depth of love I have for my munchkins and children in general. So my friend Dorcas says I was motherly even before I was a mother I am not quite sure what that means but I<a class="more-link" href="http://www.msdzo.co.za/2018/05/there-aint-no-hood-like-the-motherhood/">Read More →</a>
So, I wanted to post this on workers’ day but I couldn’t the kids kept me busy, and I was praying that my current nanny comes back from the long weekend so I can reassure myself that I am not a horrible employer.Okay, let me start at the beginning so you understand why I was starting to think I am horrible employer. Our mothers took care of us with the help of family (grandmother/aunts/sisters)or no help at all. So we look back and wonder how they did it. There are advantages and disadvantages to that. The advantage is that you know the people taking care<a class="more-link" href="http://www.msdzo.co.za/2018/05/the-nanny-struggle-is-real/">Read More →</a>
When I was pregnant with our first child I was surprised just how quick the conversation shifted from me to my belly, in fact most people just jumped to wow your belly is so big or you are a shade darker. I made peace with it and told myself people are just excited and they were expressing this, by giving me advice; from what I should wear, eat and even when I should sleep. I didn’t think it could get worse, then I had the baby 🙆🏾. Being a first time mom you already have enough doubts and you take whatever advice you get, until<a class="more-link" href="http://www.msdzo.co.za/2018/04/unsolicited-advise/">Read More →</a>
I saw a quote which I liked on social media which said “Don’t pray when you feel like it. Make an appointment with the King and keep it” Corrie ten Boom Everything within me agreed with this quote because if I simply waited to pray when I felt like it, that could mean once a week, once a month and eventually never. A prayerful life does not happen by accident it is something one must practice every opportunity they get. Until it becomes a part of who we are. We must pray until we don’t do anything without committing it to God ,not only should we<a class="more-link" href="http://www.msdzo.co.za/2018/03/when-do-you-pray/">Read More →</a>
On 22 August 2017 , the former statistician-general Pali Lehohla released the latest report of Poverty Trends in South Africa. This depressing report got me thinking about how our environment can lead to a never ending cycle of poverty. The report reveals that the victims of poverty in South Africa are children aged 17 years and younger, black Africans, females, those with little or no education and people in rural areas. And the most affected provinces are the Eastern Cape and Limpopo. While poverty is highest amongst children (aged 0–17), poverty levels tend to drop as they reach productive/working age and only starts to increase<a class="more-link" href="http://www.msdzo.co.za/2018/02/are-we-a-product-of-of-our-environment-or-our-choices/">Read More →</a>
When it’s family, you forgive them for they know not what they do When it’s family, you accept them, ’cause you have no choice but to When it’s family, they’re a mirror of the worst and best in you And they always put you to the test And you always try to do your best And just pray for God to do the rest, when it’s family Some are preachers, some are gay Some are addicts, drunks and strays But not a one is turned away, when it’s family Some are lucky, others ain’t Some are fighters, others faint Winners, losers, sinners, saints, it’s all<a class="more-link" href="http://www.msdzo.co.za/2018/02/family/">Read More →</a>
2017-08-28